A friend wrote saying, “I’m freaking out about not having enough money. Lots of clients recently have experienced similar fears. My response might be useful for you.
Dear Friend,
We all need to find a strategy or strategies to handle fear. Your current freak out about money raises the point. What I tell clients is that the minute you know you’re scared, notice that you’re freaking out, you’re 90% home free. Until then, you’re just driven and possessed by it.
The recent construction downstairs below my office put me into fight-flight that I’m still digging out of. I’m not scared anymore, but it left a toll.
I have my favorite tools. Ask me for my favorite if you want it. I use it daily.
Morris (my colleague) has his.
A client gave me this shortcut: “Oh… I’m in a story…”
Not real, just a story, made up. In THIS moment, everything is fine. And this moment… And this one…
Even when I was lying in bed at Swedish Hospital, everything was fine. No fear. I was being taken care of my many angelic creatures.
You and all God’s children have a lizard brain, whose job it is to insure your survival. It does that by warning you of scary business ALL THE TIME. It doesn’t matter if it’s likely to be true or not. It MIGHT happen therefore you get the shouting in the ear of all the dire outcomes that will ensue unless you get MORE __________. Fill in the blank.
Note: Most of its reports are highly improbable. HIGHLY. Turns out, nearly everyone, including men fear becoming a bag lady.
Note, the second: The lizard isn’t going away. Even the Dalai Lama has one. We just need to learn to travel with it but not let it drive.
I have fears of running out of money before I run out of life. We have enough. This doesn’t stop me from being scared. I just have to do my fear clearing strategies.
Facts help me. We could sell our condominium, invest the money, and rent a nice apartment by the Junction or Kona (where my daughter, Zoe, lives) on the interest that money would earn. In other cities, we could get a mansion for the same price.
Lastly, I have been telling clients – we’re swimming in a soup of fear right now in the culture. People are afraid of the election, shootings, and natural disasters. All of which are being pushed by the media, Facebook, et. al. I recommend not reading it. But even if you don’t read it, it’s in the air. And all of us reading this are sensitive to the vibes of others. Everyone is scared. We pick up on it and some of it rubs off.
Back to the need for regular practices: Going outdoors is one of my main ones. It’s safe outside. The present moment is easier to find. Today, for instance, you know that feeling that someone’s looking at you? Today, I turned to look, and it was a harbor seal 50 feet out in the bay, staring at me. Right now. In the present moment. No worries.
Remember my power animal –
He’s not worried. AT ALL.
May you be happy, wild, and free.
William